Favorite Books: The ones we wish we had when we were kids

Henry loves books.  Since birth, we've read to him every day.  Before he could sit up on his own we would place him on the floor and lay next to him with the book up in the air.  Now we sit in the rocker with him in our laps.  His naptime and bedtime routines include reading at least 1 book (if he's tired), usually 3 or 4.  He can sit through book after book after book.  At birth it didn’t seem like he noticed much other than the sound of my voice.  At 6 months his favorite books were the touch and feel and flap books.  Now at 10 months he still loves his touch and feel and flap books, but he has started pointing to the small illustrations.  He also loves his books for the convenient binding, which doubles as a great teething toy.  I love Henry's books for the clever words, the didactic tales and the beautiful illustrations.  I read without inhibition, taking on silly voices and making up song tunes to the words.

Below are some of our favorites that combine great illustrations with wonderful poems, prose and prose poems.  

The Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson and Jane Chapman  “In a cave in the woods, in his deep, dark lair, through the long cold winter sleeps a great brown bear.”

Sandra Boynton Favorites

Belly Button Book “Belly Button Beach – Where tons of hippos stand around in bathing suits too little because they hope you will admire the button on their middle.” 

Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs!  "Dinosaurs weak and dinosaurs strong.  Dinosaurs singing a dinosaur song!” 

But Not The Hippopotamus

Barnyard Dance!  “With a BAA and a MOO and a COCKADOODLEDOO everybody promenade two by two.”

Doggies:  A counting and barking book “1 One dog.  Woof! 2 Two dogs.  Yap Yap” 

Fuzzy Fuzzy Fuzzy!  Different textures with funny-faced animals. 

Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss’s ABC:  An Amazing Alphabet Book!  “Big A, little a, what begins with A?  Aunt Annie’s alligator.  A…a…A”

Dr. Seuss’s Mr. Brown can MOO!  Can You?:  Book of Wonderful Noises  “Oh the wonderful sounds Mr. Brown can do!  He can sound like a cow.  He can go MOO MOO.”

Dr. Seuss’s There’s a Woset in my Closet  “Did you ever have a feeling there’s a nink in the sink?”

I Love You, Good Night, by Buller and Schade “I love you like I love blueberry pancakes!  I love you like I love strawberry milkshakes!”

Jamberry by Bruce Degen  “One berry Two berry Pick me a blueberry”

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown  “Goodnight starts.  Goodnight air.  Goodnight noises everywhere.”

Caterpillar Spring Butterfly Summer by Susan Hood

3D Plastic slinky caterpillar covered in soft material inside

Opposites with Albert and Amy:  The fun way!  A spinning disk is great when baby starts using his pincer grip.

Toes, Ears, & Nose!: A Lift-the-Flap Book By Marion Dane Bauer

Gallop!:  A Scanimation Picture Book by Rufus Butler Seder

As you turn the page the horse gallops, the rooster struts, etc.

Trains, Boats and Planes Pop-Up Book by Gill Davies  “The plane is flying in the sky…How wonderful to be so high; Hills and houses look so small, Just like toys, not real at all.” 

bright baby:  colors

bright baby:  animals

The Empty Pot by Demi 

Beautiful illustrations and a story that teaches kids to be honest, no matter what.

What could be better than this? By Linda Ashman

A tear jerker.  Prince (dad) and Pirate (mom) live fantastic lives before they meet.  Once they marry they have an exciting life traveling and ruling the kingdom.  Then they have their baby.  “They dance with you slowly, then tuck you in tight, Ending each day with a warm tender kiss, saying, What could be better than this?  Nothing is better than this.”    

Cookies: Bite-size Life Lessons by Amy Krouse Rosenthal  “Proud means, My chin is high and I sure do like the way my cookies turned out.  Modest means you don’t run around telling everyone you make the best cookies, even if you know it to be true.”

What Mommies Do Best/What Daddies Do Best by Laura Numeroff

Flip through halfway, and the pages are upside down.  You’ll find that the story starts over from the back to front upside down.  An egalitarian book teaching that Mommies and Daddies are capable of doing the same things with baby.

Flying With An Infant: Or NOT When You Fly Southwest

San Jose mom and 2 year old kicked off Southwest flight

You read the headline correctly.  Southwest kicked a woman and her son off a flight before takeoff due to a little yelling.  Some of you may be cheering the crew, and I'm sure some of the passengers on that flight cheered too, but I am infuriated.  Southwest should give this woman and her child free flights for life.  It's hard enough to fly with a child without getting dirty looks from passengers and feeling horribly guilty.  But to be kicked off a flight for a little yelling is absurd.  The airline industry has its issues, but booting families from flights doesn’t seem to be the answer.

We've flown to San Diego (3 months), New Jersey (5 months) and Baltimore (7 months) with Henry, and had mixed results.  When he was 3 months old it was relatively easy.  I nursed him at take off and landing.  Although it was a long flight, we got through it by passing him back and forth.  He napped intermittently.  He was an angel apart from the mid-flight fussiness that lasted 30 seconds.  Of course, even with his amazing demeanor we still got a dirty look from a middle-aged man sitting behind us.

At 5 months, on our return flight from NJ I flew alone with Henry, which was more difficult.  There was a large man in the seat next to us, and nursing was difficult to do without Henry's toes touching the man.  He was kind and refrained from giving us any dirty looks.  The flight was a success and I was relieved when we landed.

At 7 months, Henry was getting more mobile and antsy.  It was hard to keep him occupied, so I nursed him almost the entire flight.  He fell in and out of sleep, and by landing I was out of milk.  He screamed the entire descent.  Chris wanted to help, but there wasn’t much he could do.  The flight attendant kept asking me to nurse him, and all I could do was tell her I was trying.  The grandmothers and mothers around me were glaring at me as if to say, “If I were you, I’d be doing …”  I avoided eye contact with everyone knowing that I would probably burst into tears.  The second we hit the tarmac the flight attendant sighed on the intercom "We made it."  At first I felt horrible for the passengers, but after some thought, I felt horrible for Henry.  He was in pain and didn’t know why.  It made me angry that people couldn’t understand.  Next time I know to give him water if I run out of milk.

Now that he is crawling, we might have to show him movies on my iPhone or iPod, or bring lots of toys and books on the plane with us.  Although, if our next flight is on Southwest they may not allow us to board.  Perhaps it’s time to start mapping out our next road trip.

Our Family Photography Session: The pictures are back...for now

Although yesterday I took down all of Henry's pictures from “Babies In The Wilde,” I’ve reneged on that decision and posted a few from our professional photography shoot.  The shots were so spectacular that I had to share Arlene’s talent, and she very generously offered up a few digital shots especially for this site.

It was Henry’s first official photo shoot.  The sky was blue, the air was crisp and the leaves were starting to change color.  It was a perfect fall day.  We met Arlene in the beach parking lot.  She was ready to go, tongue farting to make Henry giggle.  I think I might have giggled too.  The lakefront was buzzing with runners, sun worshipers, bicyclists and walkers.  We immediately began shooting under the shade of the trees with the skyline behind us.  Henry plopped himself down in the grass.  “Maybe we should put him in front of that lady,” Chris joked.  A couple was having their engagement photos taken nearby, which I've always assumed is uncomfortable.  The woman was posing, leaning her back against the wall with one foot up.  We turned our focus back to our photo shoot, which had the opposite feel: natural and fun.  Chris hoisted Henry up into a tree, and Arlene suggested we take off Henry’s shoes.  The Huck Finn effect was adorable.  Little Henry sitting up in a tree barefoot with his pants rolled up – Chris was propping him up from behind.  Next we stood him up holding on to a young tree, which he proceeded to lick.  We did a variety of shots that afternoon:  Henry alone; Henry and Dad; Henry and Mom; Mom, Dad and Henry.  Typical first time parents, I know, but who cares!  I loved all the shots, and it was so difficult to choose the prints.  Arlene did an amazing job.  As some of you know, I didn’t have the best experience with our wedding photographer, and it was refreshing to work with someone so professional.

I would recommend doing a professional photo shoot to all first-time parents.  We waited for Henry to grow out of the squishy wrinkly newborn stage and until he could crawl and stand.  This provided more options for Arlene to shoot a variety of angles.  Now we will have beautiful shots of our family, which is particularly nice considering we have very few good pictures of Henry and me together – I am the photographer in the family.  Whether you do it on location or in a studio, it is priceless.  The baby year goes too quickly and I love that Arlene took such spectacular snapshots of this time in our life.    

Please see www.bysterstudios.com for more information on our fabulous photographer, Arlene Byster.

Where Did the Pictures Go?

If you’re wondering why I removed the fun pictures of Henry from the blog, please see last Friday’s New York Times article, “Guardians of their Smiles.”  It’s articles like these that create panic in the parenting world.  I wouldn’t go so far as saying it’s fear mongering, but it definitely freaked me out.  I flip flopped on whether I should remove all the pictures or just those with Henry in his diaper.  After talking it through with Chris, we agreed to remove most of Henry's World Wide Web pictures.  We decided certain pictures online are fine, but it didn’t stop me from taking down the pictures and locking up my Picasa web albums.  Considering “Babies in the Wilde” currently draws an average of 55 visitors per day, I’m 99% sure those pervies will be going somewhere else.  But if I’m wrong, SCAT SCAT!  There’s nothing for you here but Judgy McJudgersons.   

Thanks C for the information!

Mr. and Mrs. Judgy McJudgerson

All parents judge other parents.  It is a fact.  We all think our way is the best way.  But some parents are guilty of doing so with disdain.  I call them Mr. and Mrs. Judgy McJudgerson.  I admit I’m the original Mrs. McJudgerson.  I’ve found, however, that being judged by others has led me to keep my Mrs. McJudgerson thoughts to myself. 

On one cold rainy Chicago evening I took Henry to an open play session at a local kids’ playhouse.  I was so excited for him to crawl and climb with other kids.  The setup was fully equipped with plush carpet, soft balls, Little Tikes cars, stuffed rocking horses, cushy climbing stairs and tunnels.  Fun kids’ music floated through the air, and paper cutouts of butterflies hung from the ceiling.       

Enter Mr. and Mrs. Judgy McJudgerson.  They were doting on their daughter, mini-McJudgerson, constantly smothering her and preventing her from playing with other kids.  Henry smiled at her and crawled over to greet her.  I noticed his nose was a little runny, not because he was sick, but because he was teething.  The McJudgersons noticed too, and they scowled at me.  Their glare said, “How could you bring your sick kid here.  You’re going to infect our perfect little angel.”  BARF.  I awkwardly avoided eye contact, and watched as Henry and mini-McJudgerson interacted.  Another symptom of teething is excessive drooling.  Henry’s glob of clear saliva slowly dribbled nearby mini-McJudgerson, and Mr. McJudgerson squealed, “EW!”  He glared at me again and ran to sanitize the area.  For the rest of our playtime the McJudgersons avoided us, and each time mini-McJudgerson wandered in our direction, they quickly picked her up and brought her across the room whispering in each other’s ears.  I couldn’t help but feel like a horrible person.  And poor Henry, he was just trying to be friendly. 

I’m sure I’ll bump into the McJudgersons again, and if not those particular McJudgersons, another pair of judgy parents waiting to make me feel like an inadequate mother.  I can only hope that the McJudgerson in me stays tucked away.  We’re all doing our best – well, most of us anyway.

-- Signed The Original Mrs. Judgy McJudgerson

Sleep Training: I'm the Baby Drill Sergeant

“I love sleep training.  I love sleep training.”  This is what goes through my head every time Henry sleeps through the night.  “I hate sleep training.  I hate sleep training,” is what goes through my head every time he doesn’t.  With Henry’s pediatrician’s go-ahead, we started sleep training him at 4 ½ months.  Sleep training requires persistence and consistency, which happen to be the two things I obsessed about daily in my pre-baby life.  Routine is my middle name.  Starting around 2 months we had already implemented a nighttime and naptime routine of feeding, books, song and sleep.  At that time, he was not yet on a schedule, but the second I saw signs of sleepiness (eye rubbing, yawning, fussiness) I would start the routine.  Henry’s naptime and bedtime routines are similar, except at night he gets a bath every other day.  Each time, I zip him up in his sleep sack, we sit in the rocker, read a few books, I put him down in his crib, turn out the lights and sing him a song.  He pops his thumb in his mouth, hugs his Ugly Doll, Babo, and falls asleep. 
   
Starting from birth, I charted Henry’s feedings, poos, pees, and sleep.  Once he started showing a general pattern I would put him down before he showed signs of tiredness.  Two weeks before we started officially sleep training; I night weaned him.  Each night I nursed him for a few minutes less and prolonged the time between feedings.  The start of sleep training coincided with the end of Henry’s pacifier, which was a relief, as running into his room 10 times a night to replace the nook each time he lost it was getting old.  He barely noticed it was gone. 

Once we began a blend of the Weisbluth and Ferber cry it out methods, it took 3 nights.  On night 1 we let him cry for 3 minutes, then went in to pat his chest and said, “Momma loves you,” and left the room.  If he continued crying we let him cry for 5 minutes, then went in and repeated the comforting ritual.  If he continued, we let him cry for 10 minutes, etc.  Each time he woke crying, we would begin the 3, 5, 10 and 15-minute increments again.  On night 2 we used increments of 5, 10, 15 and 20 minutes.  On night 3 we used increments of 10, 15, 20, and 25 minutes.  On night 4 he slept from 9pm until 5am without a peep.  Hallelujah, it worked!  Once he was sleep trained at night, we moved on to sleep training him for his naps. 

What was peculiar about our sleep training experience was that Chris was not allowed to participate.  This is odd considering Chris is an extremely hands on father.  He loves getting down and dirty with the baby.  Normally, moms don’t participate in night sleep training, due to the fact that the smell of her breast milk might upset the baby even more.  Although he did everything he could to help, we discovered that Chris has a mental and physical affliction in the middle of the night – he can’t use his brain to direct his bodily functions.  He would forget to put on his glasses and rush into Henry’s room clumsily.  On multiple occasions he walked his lanky frame into doors, lamps, bookshelves, walls, etc.  He often woke up franticly feeling around for Henry in the bed telling me to be careful, even though we never slept with Henry in the bed.  Chris even picked Henry up out of his crib once, which is a big fat no-no according to Dr. Ferber.  If you pick up baby during sleep training, he will think that if he cries long enough, he will get what he wants – and all that crying he did the last few days would be for nothing.  We finally came up with a rule that Chris was not allowed out of bed between the hours of 11pm and 5am.  His job at night was to give Henry his last bottle of the evening and occasionally wake me up when Henry started crying – I am a very heavy sleeper.  

Choosing to sleep train is equivalent to selectively fighting in a never-ending war. He sleeps great for two weeks, and then when he is sick or we are traveling he gets off schedule, and we have to sleep train him all over again.  On occasion Henry wins – I give in and rock him back to sleep (last night), but for the most part we hold the victory flag (this morning he cried for 20 minutes during his nap and fell back asleep).

Listening to his cries gets more heartbreaking as he gets stronger and more stubborn.  As his screams get progressively louder and more dramatic, I feel a knot in my stomach.  I imagine that he’s thinking “Momma, where are you?  Momma come snuggle me!”  It is agonizing.  It sounds disturbingly similar to some sort of baby boot camp, and I’m the drill sergeant, but I know he’s OK in the end, because he wakes up giggly and spry.  I suppose Henry is more regimented than most kids he knows, and it’s probably because I’m obsessive about feeding him and putting him down for sleep at almost the same time every day.  It’s an interesting balancing act.  When he’s off schedule he gets overtired and fussy, but we have to be flexible when we travel and when we visit with family and friends.

If I had to do it all over again, I would.  I hear too many stories of babies who wake up to feed in the middle of the night at 12 months old, and I thank my lucky stars that Henry has been sleep trained since he was 5 months old.  I need my sleep too.

Tip:  The darker the room, the better baby will sleep.

Baby Gift Ideas Part I: Baby shower and Infant Gifts

We are fortunate to have such generous and thoughtful friends and family, who have showered Henry with love, affection and so many gifts.  Avoid being that guy/girl who gives the gift that ends up at Salvation Army -- we love you all the same, but you know who you are, or do you?  You may think it’s adorable, but mom and dad will likely think the opposite.  And if you still insist on being "that friend," remember a gift receipt. 

REGISTRY REGISTRY REGISTRY.  If mom-to-be registered for her baby shower, check it out.  If there isn’t anything on there you want to purchase try some of the items below.  See also Preparing for Baby’s Arrival: Everything you’ll need. 

Gift baskets are a great idea, but most of those available – especially online – are filled with cutesy cheapy cliché items.  Try putting one together yourself from the baby section at Target or Babies R Us – special thanks to Steph for the most handy baby shower bathtub gift. 
•    Baby bath tub
•    Baby shampoo/soap in one
•    Washcloths
•    Bibs
•    Reusable diapers – for burp cloths
•    Aquaphor
•    Lansinoh
•    Baby bottle
•    Bottle brush
•    Baby nail clippers and file
•    Infant Tylenol
•    Baby hangers
•    Diaper rash cream
•    Pacifier
•    Teether
•    Rubber finger toothbrush
•    Q-tips
•    Bath toys: without squirter – hard to clean and mold haven

Other Favorite Gift Ideas
Babba Co. cover (winter) – shelters baby from the cold wind
Babba Co. cover (summer) – helps baby nap and protects from the sun
Books, books and more books – see our favorite books post
Personalized puzzle stool
Under the Nile Fruit and Veggies:  great for baby to suck on
Vulli Sophie the Giraffe: pricey, but worth it
Haba Toys
Beaba Baby Cook:  great for making baby food purees, and re-warming
Sandra Boynton’s Bath Books:  Soft bath books that float!
Tiny Love Gymini
Pottery Barn Kids Personalized Hooded Towel
Parents Magazine Bee Bop Band
Soft Blocks
Baby Einstein Count and Compose Piano
Lamaze toys
Handmade quilts, blankets, hats, mittens, etc.
Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance:  Grows with your infant, and isn't just for sitting.  I give Henry a mani/pedi every other day in his chair.  In typical baby and boy fashion, he does everything possible to hinder the process. 
Ergo Baby carrier


Clothes
WARNING:  If you’re going to buy baby clothes remember to consider the season and the baby’s age.  Don’t buy a 0-3 month snowsuit for a baby born in June.  Also try not to buy clothes for a newborn for years down the road.  Baby could be gigantic or miniature, and sizing is rarely exact.

Mommy and Daddy’s favorite school/sports team: baby can never have enough
Alternative Apparel onesies and t-shirts: soft and forgiving
Children’s Place zipper pajamas

Hand-Me-Downs
DO NOT be shy about re-gifting your kids’ old toys and clothes.  New parents will love them.  Quality + Quantity = YAY!